Monday, March 21, 2011

He loves me, She loves me not...

The Pussy: I've had a few relationships where I have felt I loved them. So I said it. I think its another emotion... Maybe the strongest before you are actually IN LOVE. I've never been IN LOVE, but I have loved to the full extent.

How many people do you feel that love with until you feel you're IN LOVE? Dick, have you ever been IN LOVE? Or just loved someone? And how many times have you felt that emotion of love?

I know when you love someone, you begin to care for them. So if caring for someone comes from love, then what do you think IN LOVE brings? I would really like to know.

I really loved this last man I was with, but was never IN LOVE with him because if I was, I'd be the happiest I have ever been...

Do you believe there is someone made for everyone?

The Dick: I have, without a doubt, been in love but just once. There have been a few other girlfriends that I thought I loved and expressed that to them, but when I actually fell in love it was completely different. Anytime I talked to her in person or on the phone I could not help but to feel an incredible amount of happiness no matter how crappy of a day I was having.

The women before her that I thought I loved were all great but that extra little bit was not there, I just did not know it at the time. For example when I was in high school or just after I started college and I was going to get my girlfriend something for a holiday like valentines day or something I would go get the stereotypical box of chocolates and a teddy bear or flowers or something along those lines because thats what you do for valentines day. Then when I would do something for the women I fell in love with I would feel the need to go above and beyond and be as creative as possible.

I was not doing it because I thought I had to in order to impress her or anything like that I just wanted to do something extra special for her. The last valentines day that we were still talking, I did not want to just get a dozen roses like everyone else so instead I got a mix of six red and six pink roses and tied a card to each individual rose, each of which said something different about how I felt about her or what she meant to me. Then for good measure i also got three individual yellow roses for her coworkers since she had to work on that Valentines day.

I do not believe there is just one person for you but I definitely do believe there are several people that you fit well with. I also do not believe that if you stay with someone long enough that you can create that love... if it is not there then it just is not there so stop wasting your time and go try one of the other 315 million people in the U.S. and if you somehow cross each one of those people off of your list then there is another 6.5 billion people in the remainder of the world that you can give a shot at your heart...

It makes no sense to me to try to repair a relationship after one of you has betrayed the others trust, or has proven to not be worthy of the other, it is just a massive waste of your life to keep that sort of relationship going. And its not much better if you are just convincing yourself that you love the person you are dating just because you "dont know if you can find someone better." Of course you can but you are going to have to work for it and have a colossal amount of patience if you really want to find your soul mate.

Friday, January 7, 2011


The Pussy: You know what I've come to realize when it comes to impressing men...EVERYTHING.

He asks you out, you freak out. You panic. You can't control yourself. You start to get pissed. All because you have no idea of what your going to wear. This is clothes I'm talking about. Then when you finally find the right thing to wear, you freak and because now you wonder how to do your hair. You freak out so bad, you spend all your time panicked that now you are sweating and you may not get rid of that ugly smell. Right?

Yeah well it doesn't get any easier from there. You probably ask your self, you may or may not do the deed but you need to put cute undies and a bra on just incase. But you know you are not that kind of girl, but you do it anyway. Then once your dressed and your make-up and hair are complete, you feel uncomfortable. Your jeans are too tight, your not sure if the shirt your wearing will go right with the evening. And then some.

It's fucking stressful!

BUT! Do you know what men are doing while the ladies are spending half their Saturday at the mall trying to find something to wear and getting dressed? They are playing video games with their friends. They are going to the gym. They are taking a couple naps. Then when they know they are 1 hour away from scooping you up, they throw on some shit, spray on some sex me up cologne and their off!

Hard to believe, but so very true. Then when they do come to pick you up, they do not give you a Popsicle stick lick look. No, all that is going through their mind is wondering if your shirt will show enough cleavage when you lean over, and if your butt fills out your jeans. Then the next two thoughts are as follows: Should I give her a hug soon as I pick her up and should I kiss her on the date or after...

Seriously. That's it. After that first date, everything will be normal, I hope. We hope. But men just have that animal instinct to sniff their prey before they pounce all over you.

The Dick:  OK first of all you are right when you say we play video game with our friends or go to the gym and things of that sort because contrary to what most women believe men are in fact NOT made of money so we do not usually think that we need to go buy new clothes ESPECIALLY for a FIRST date... its a damn first date you have never seen that shirt that i have worn to 6 other dates to you it might as well be new as long as it is not riddled with holes or all wrinkly.  Women have a bad habit of finding reasons to spend money they do not need to but that is a different argument for a different time...

If your date is with a less experienced guy i can guarantee that they are doing the same thing you are, they may not be out trying to buy new clothes but they will be trying to borrow better shirts from their friends or fathers or wherever they can find them.  They will also be taking advice from whoever they can find in an attempt to not fuck up the date beyond repair.

If you are going on a date with a guy who has some experience he will know that women are 99% about mental connection and 1% about physical appearance... yes i know women would love to have that Fabio or similar type of "hunk" to sweep them off their feet but truth is they are mainly about the mental side of things.  Any guy who has been on a few dates SHOULD know that as long as you do not look like a bum and you have half a personality you shouldn't have too hard of a time at least making friends if not setting up a second date.

i might be giving more guys credit than i should i know there are plenty of my species that do not have any confidence but the ones who do are the ones who accel in this or any other field.  Guys when you see those assholes you know do not deserve "that" girl and you wonder how they got them its because they are the only ones who had the confidence to approach them... they might be the most useless pieces of junk alive but if they were the only guys who acted like they deserved that girl she is going to believe just that.

Anyway i am getting off on another topic back to The Pussy's "point" girls freak about this sort of thing because they know guys are all about visual stimulation and guys take the time we do because we know women are all about emotional or intellectual connection... i see no problem with this, we both know how to appeal to each other you may have to work harder to look good than we do but we have to work harder to not seem like morons.  Shit half the time you could be dumb as hell but if you look good enough no guy is going to say no, if we look amazing and are dumb as hell chances are we are not going home with anyone...

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Vagina's of Glitter and Dick's of Diamonds!

The Pussy: I get the whole "I haven't sleep with anyone this is just a fuck" get up. I get it. What I don't get is how some men and women put their standards on hold just to fuck anyone? Yeah there is nothing else going on, but is vagina JUST vagina and is dick JUST dick?

I mean don't you at least have them measured up before you lay your shit all over the place? Drunk and meaningless sex is one thing but to have it with some one who you would never date because they were just a fuck is not soaking into my brain.

Yes we have all had that "who cares and let's fuck sex", but I at the least had a good five qualities that the person needed to have if he was going to get with this. I'm not saying that my vagina is like all that but I treat it like it's something special and I'm not about to let some guy just hit it because...

Don't guys want to know what they are fucking in quality shit? Dick, help me understand this!

The Dick: I will admit i have had a few questionable hook ups in my time but i have never had a questionable friends w/ benefits situation. Personally I will not just put my standards on hold unless there was a moderate amount of adult beverages consumed prior to that decision...

I however am not the best example of the average male population, most guys i know WILL have these types of friends, don't get me wrong i have nothing against friends with benefits but that person to me should physically meet the same standards as a girlfriend would need to, the main difference is that in a girlfriend i also look for her to meet relatively high standards in the personality department as well. But the F's with B's that many guys i know employ do not usually come close to at least my own standards and i assume their standards would not be that low either but you can never know that part for sure.

What I can piece together from all of this is that most guys have relatively low self confidence, even the guys who have no problem talking to girls and striking up conversations still have plenty of doubts in their head so just the fact that they are good socially or attractive does not mean they think they can get with a girl better than a 6. I myself would rather aim for the heavens with even girl I go after and go through as many bad apples as it takes to find the holy grail of women, and once again i am not just referring to a girls looks.

So to touch on your question "Don't guys want to know what they are fucking in quality shit?" to a lot of guys those women that you do not see being good enough for a guy, in that guys eyes are probably what he thinks is the best girl he is capable of attracting... not sure if i worded that correctly i am having trouble explaining what i want to say.

but lets say you find a guy you think is smart funny attractive and you can not see him having any problems getting any girl he wants, in HIS head he (in many cases) will not consider himself to be all that great and therefore will think he has so chance with a girl with equal qualities so you will see these guys having no problem being with women way below their "level" and then ofcourse there are just those guys who seem to think pussy is another form of currency and they need to get as much of it as possibly its like they are trying to horde as much as they can get their hands on so when the world goes in to a nuclear war and we are all forced into bomb shelters, their shelves will be stocked full of vagina... one day they will realize this is not how things work

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Battle Of The Sexes: Who Is The Bigger Asshole??

The Dick: OK a lot of guys will say "women are way worse than guys, all they do is lie and lead guys on to get free drinks and mess with their head" but on the flip side women will say similar things about us guys like "No guys are worse because they are all assholes who treat nice women bad and they should all go to hell!"... or something along those lines lol.

And I am sorry but I am going to side with the guys (of course) on this one because I too agree that MOST women (not all of them don't freak out i know they are a couple good ones hiding somewhere out in the world) are much worse than your typical asshole guy and here is my justification for that claim.

Women say guys are assholes and usually the last few guys they dated WERE assholes I am not disagreeing that there are guys who just do not give a shit out there because there is and there are A LOT of them too. The problem is those guys were assholes before the girl started dating them. Most of the time they would tell the girl they like her then hit on other girls right in front of her, or would not show up for "Dates" or things of that nature on time if at all.

Then once they did start dating (because of course the woman found something to justify still dating the jerk even though every one with at least a rock in their head could see it was a bad idea, which i am sorry to say leaves her and her girlfriends who told her that he was hot out obviously) he continued to treat her bad and not give her the attention she needed just like anyone could of predicted by his lack of interest prior to becoming BF/GF. I could go on but i think you catch my drift YES these guys are assholes but they basically slap you in the face and tell you they are assholes right from the get go...

OK now on to the guys argument about girls being the heartless ones. The problem with the female equivalent to the gentleman i described above is that when you meet them they seem pretty nice and sweet, the thing you do not know about them is that they probably just got out of a relationship and are either just looking for someone to fill that empty space in their life until they find a new asshole to date or they just want someone to fill the empty space in their bed until the find a new asshole to take advantage of them... either way their motives are 90% of the time (according to a survey i made up for this blog) are not what they seem.

So you have this "sweet innocent" young "lady" whom you as a guy tend to develop feelings for... Ya know what, let me stop right here for a second because i know all the women right now are saying to their monitor "Ohh Dick you just had one bad experience and now you are projecting that on to all women!" and first of all learn to read i already said i know there are still a couple of you who are awesome women but you are not the easiest to find... and secondly yes i have had a pretty shitty experience that i am basing this heavily on BUT i am using similar cases from 5 of my closest guy friends to supplement my argument so i think i have decent grounds to make these accusations.

OK back to where we left off! guys develop feelings very easily(no matter how tough they try to act) if a girl seems genuine, is attractive, and is someone we can talk to all day long and not get bored with, and when you as a woman let that go on for months at a time and then decide you want to find a new guy to be more than your "lonely day friend" it tends to mess with our heads and then makes us even more bitter towards the rest of you. i understand that when i guy is an asshole it can make you women think bad about the rest of us the part i do not understand is how you expected an asshole to all of a sudden stop being an asshole once you started dating him?? i mean duh thats how he got you why in the world would he change what he is doing if it works so damn often??

So next time you women are upset and ranting to your girls about how all guys are dirt bags or whatever creative words you like to use, just remember the number of shit head guys is constantly going up the more you fuck with the nice ones heads and the more the nice ones see the assholes getting all the girls they think deserve so much better...

Pussy! I am way too lazy to proof read that so hopefully i didnt rant to the point of being confusing and i do not really have a direct question for you to answer this week so i guess if you agree then you agree if you have something to add or something completely different then lets hear it! and for the record you come off more like an asshole guy but for some reason that makes you like x10 more fun to hang out with but i think its because you have never tried to fuck with my head in any way and 3 out of 4 women i have met in my life have in some way (according to that same survey from earlier in the rant).

The Pussy: (still waiting for a response...)

Don't forget to leave your comments on the matter at hand below and follow our blog so we know if anyway actually reads our BS. Plus send us your questions, topics, and/or situations to!!

The Dick: I dont know if The Pussy even remembers the address to this site so don't count on a response but if any of you have any other thoughts or opinions please feel free to leave them in the comment section below or email them to! and i will respond as soon as i can i always love to hear other view points!

The Pussy Dick, I read this shit numerous times trying to figure out what the fuck you were talking about. I think you are having troule finding a girl that is about you and vise versa. But then I got to thinking and thought maybe you should stop paying so much attention the girls that bring you the most misery...Then I thought AGAIN and this post seems to be exactly just that! The snotty bitches that you don't end up with.

Some girls, most girls I should say are looking for a distraction. Something to fill that empty space like you mentioned. But then its your job to dig deeper and find out what number you are. Meaning if she has recently got out of a relationship, find out how many guys she has talked to. No one wants to be the rebound.

We girls are assholes, well my boyfriend calls me a jerk so not all of us are assholes.

Write a new post. Something I can argue with you about!

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Confidence, Its A Two Way Street Ladies!

The Dick:  You always hear girls saying they like guys who have confidence in themselves and how much of a turn off it is when a guy does not have any confidence in himself or his body or whatever.  But how often do you hear from a guy that it is a turn off(at least for me) for women to lack confidence in either their looks or their skills/abilities.  If i am with a girl who is easily a 9 but acts like she thinks she is a 5 at best, it is hard to treat her like an equal instead i find myself babying her, but not like in the "your a princess" kind of way more in the "your like a little kid" kind of way.

I have had situations where I was with a girl whom on my scale(which my friends tell me i have much higher standards than they do) was a high 8 to a 9 so obviously i was very attracted to her but once things started to get hot-n-heavy the lack of confidence would come out like lights off and dont look at my body and everything...  I do not care how hot you are or who you are, if you cant be confident in yourself i am going to go find someone else who is.  Even if you really arent THAT attractive having confidence makes you more appealing than someone more attractive who does not have any confidence or self esteem in themselves.

Pussay its time for you to chime in, do girls realize how important this is for them??  I know most guys can still hit it or quit it with anything, even if its a self esteem lacking bowl of jello but personally i can not lol. Also how important is it really for a guy to have conifdence when it comes to girls? is it like a make it or break it sort of thing or a bonus??

The Pussy: Oh Dick, this is such a touchy subject. Its hard to really pin point what the answer is because I flucuate on this subject all the time. Well, more like my emotions/confidence fluctuates on this. Somedays I feel like shit so I look like shit. Some days I feel fabulous and those days is when I look fabulous! Ya know what I mean there, Dick?!

If you happen to have a girl on your hands that is ALWAYS like, don't look at me, don't look at me! Well, she just may need someone to give her a talking too.

To some of us the confidence thing is a must and to the rest of us like me, you better just have your fucking shit together and know when you are not right to be with me. My standards are in other areas. But "he" would not be talking to me if he didn't have confidence because I'm a bitch and if I feel you do not reach the line that you should be reaching no words are needed. One look and you need to walk away. That's it.

So whatever

The Dick:  OK well i asked The Pussy if she meant to post this two weeks ago and she said she was not done but has failed to respond to me since then so since i am getting ready to post a new topic this week i am just going to post this as is since it seems pretty well done to me...

Friday, July 30, 2010 similar article

The Dick: Just thought i would post this link real quick it touches on some of the shit i was ranting about a few posts ago lol

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Maturity, Do You Have It??

The Dick: OK here is something that i still do not understand and pretty much everyone i meet has a different definition for what "maturity" is.

Personally i think that someone who is mature is someone who can and does support themselves(and their family if they have one). They go to work, take care of things around the apartment/house, has their priorities in order, and for the most part can take every situation that is thrown at them, good or bad, one step at a time and deal with them accordingly.

The other popular description for maturity i tend to hear mostly from women is more along the lines of your mature if you let go of the things you like to do for the sole fact that your getting older. Ive lost count of the number of times I have been called immature by girls/women who USUALLY are much younger than I am, and they definitely act like it... I just don't really see how someone who is a year or two out of high school, who still lives with their parents and does not work for a living, can tell someone who has lived on their own and supported themselves for the past 6 years WHILE GETTING A BACHELORS DEGREE that they are immature...

I have a hard time accepting that if i want the general public to think i am mature i have to give up things i love to do or i have to be serious all the time. What the hell is life if you cant joke around and have fun? Some of the best work environments are those that are all uptight and "professional" just take a look at ANY video game developer or internet company like google or yahoo.

If you sift through my rant long enough you may be able to piece together that what i am asking is "Pussy please tell me and the rest of the fun loving people(men) in the world what a womans(or atleast your) definition of maturity is?"

And just a quick disclaimer here im not saying i am completely mature all the time because i know there have been a few times where i have been told or i could tell a woman wanted to tell me how immature something i did was and generally about 4 seconds after whatever the hell i did i realize the same thing lol.

EDIT: OK since i posted this i realized i kinda smashed responsibility together with maturity so i guess a better way to word my question would be "Since women tend to associate a sense of humor and maturity level, what sorts of things would a woman consider immature as opposed to just having a good sense of humor?"

The Pussy:
For one, if you have a job and got your shit together that just means you have your priorities in order. That has nothing to do with being mature or immature.

It doesn't matter if you have a jet plane, be a CEO of a company and have 5 wife's. You can still be and act immature.

Its not what you have or don’t have going on, its how you carry yourself with the things you have.

And these girls that are calling you immature is probably because that is the only word they know with more than 5 letters in it. FYI, they are not much younger than you and also learning. So depending on how defensive you get when someone calls you immature truly brings that out. Or vise versa.

I don’t believe it makes any difference if you work at Google or Quick Trip. Its what kind of person you ARE and working for Google or Quick Trip. Its almost like being 18 and pretending to be mature because you have a totally awesome high level job and deep down you want to just wear jeans to work, make jokes and have fun.

Really, know matter where you are or what you are doing – you put yourself there. So make the best of it. If you are outgoing then that’s what you’ll be where ever you go. If you are a stick in the mud, then you will always be a stick in the mud.

Immaturity is a big word with tons of meaning.

Dick, to a women or at least all the women I have known or know; lying, calling into work all the time, acting like they have no respect for anyone, making racists jokes on a first date, always saying “I don’t know” is all considered being immature with many more to list but then I would go on forever.

Be yourself. Like I said, even if you have your shit together doesn't count as maturity.

What I always say is if I ever met myself, how would I want to see myself? And if you have a list of good qualities then you should apply those to your current self and let the people who are not you see and make them know who you are.